Recovery sometimes feels like springtime in Memphis.

This is one of the first places I’ve (Joanna) lived where spring feels like a true transition—from the cold, gray, lifelessness of winter into something vivid, alive, and full of hope. The shift doesn’t happen all at once. It creeps in gently, a little more light in the evening, a slight warmth in the breeze, and then—suddenly—you see it: green.

I remember walking outside just a few weeks ago and spotting tiny green shoots on a plant I had long since written off as dead. It had been nothing but bare sticks for months. I had mentally added it to the compost pile, assuming it wouldn’t make it through the winter. But there it was—life. The excitement welled up inside me, and I almost jumped for joy. It’s alive. It’s alive! I couldn’t believe it.

Twelve years ago, our world changed.

We began a painful, soul-shaping journey through betrayal and recovery as a couple. At the time, resources were scarce—especially for the betrayed partner and even more so for couples navigating healing together. What we needed didn’t exist, so we committed not only to our own restoration, but to building tools, frameworks, and a community for others who would come after us.

This is where our passion began.

We weren’t interested in merely surviving. If we were going to do the hard work of healing, we wanted to thrive on the other side—to have a marriage we were excited to be in. That goal fueled us through the darkest moments, and today, it fuels the work we do with couples around the world.

Healing Together Starts With a Vision

When a couple reaches out to us, one of the first questions we ask is:
“What is the goal for your marriage?”

Have you ever had a conversation where someone’s words didn’t quite match their body language? Maybe they assured you they were "fine," but their arms were crossed, their tone was sharp, and they barely made eye contact. Or perhaps someone told you they were excited about something, yet their posture was slouched and their expression blank.

These mixed signals create confusion, doubt, and sometimes even mistrust. Honest communication isn’t just about what we say—it’s about ensuring our body language, tone, and expressions match our words. When our nonverbal cues align with our verbal messages, we build stronger connections, demonstrate authenticity, and make others feel truly heard and valued.

Let’s explore how to build congruence in communication and ensure our words and actions reinforce our intended message.

Safety in a relationship is a sense of security that is built through ongoing constructive behaviors from both partners. It is not just about the absence of harm but the presence of consistent, trust-building actions. This sense of security allows individuals to express their true selves without fear of rejection, manipulation, or betrayal.

When a relationship lacks safety, true intimacy becomes nearly impossible. Our minds and bodies naturally resist openness when we sense danger, causing us to withdraw, shut down, or become defensive. However, when safety is present, we experience an environment where connection and cooperation can flourish.

Healthy relationships thrive on open communication, mutual respect, and emotional honesty. A key skill that supports these elements is assertiveness—the ability to express one’s thoughts, feelings, and needs clearly and respectfully. Unfortunately, many people either struggle with being assertive or mistake it for aggression, leading to communication breakdowns and unresolved conflicts.

In this post, we’ll explore what healthy assertiveness looks like, the consequences of withholding in relationships, and how to cultivate this essential skill to create stronger, more balanced partnerships.

Authenticity is not just about expressing who we are—it’s about consistently living in alignment with our beliefs and values. For example, if I say I value health but make repeated choices that harm my well-being, I will feel internal conflict. Furthermore, my partner or those closest to me may feel uncertain or unsafe if they witness a disconnect between my words and my actions.

Part of authenticity is also about being honest about our struggles. No one is perfectly aligned all the time. The key is to be transparent about the process—to acknowledge when we’re struggling, rather than hiding behind a false narrative. Social media has made it easy to curate a perfect image, but true authenticity requires a willingness to share both our strengths and our vulnerabilities.

Awareness is crucial for personal and relational success because it serves as the foundation for all other relational skills. Think about empathy—without awareness of your own emotions, how can you genuinely empathize with someone else’s pain? Similarly, without awareness of your own thoughts and reactions, it’s difficult to engage in healthy communication, resolve conflicts, or foster intimacy.

Beyond relationships, awareness significantly enhances individual well-being. Research shows that mindfulness and self-awareness reduce stress and improve mental health. Just as avoiding physical pain often leads to greater distress, ignoring relational issues compounds them over time. Bringing awareness into your life and relationship opens the door to healing and growth.

True transparency is about initiating openness rather than waiting for a partner to ask the right questions. If you’re truly transparent, your partner won’t feel the need to dig for information—they’ll already know who you are, what you’re feeling, and what you’re doing. This creates a deep sense of trust and security.